What is Emotion-Focused Therapy?

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) is a humanistic, evidence-based approach to therapy that helps people become more aware of, express, regulate, understand, and transform their emotions — because emotions are seen as the core driver of experience, identity, and change.

It was originally developed by Dr. Leslie Greenberg (for individuals) and Dr. Sue Johnson (for couples — you might've heard of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy). It’s grounded in attachment theory, Gestalt therapy, and person-centered (Rogerian) principles.

🧠 Core Beliefs of EFT:

1. Emotions guide us — they tell us what we need and motivate action.

2. Emotional difficulties often come from blocked, unprocessed, or overwhelming feelings.

3. Healing comes not just from insight or behavior change, but from transforming maladaptive emotions by accessing deeper adaptive ones (like going from shame → self-compassion, or fear → assertiveness).

💬 In Practice, EFT Helps Clients:

• Identify and label emotions clearly (instead of saying “I’m just stressed,” we get to “I feel hurt and scared”).

• Understand where emotions come from (current situations and early attachment/relational patterns).

• Access deeper, more vulnerable emotions underneath surface reactivity.

• Express emotions safely, especially in relationships.

• Change emotional responses by working through them, not around them.

❤️‍🔥 In Couples Therapy (EFT for Couples):

EFT helps partners move out of reactive cycles (like blame/withdraw or pursue/distance) by:

1. Slowing things down

2. Helping each partner share what’s really going on emotionally (usually fear, hurt, or longing)

3. Creating new bonding experiences that restore trust and connection

✨ Example:

Instead of staying in:

“You never listen to me. You’re always on your phone!”

EFT would help the client say:

“When you pull away, I feel rejected and unimportant. And that hurts me, because I want to feel close to you.”

That shift — from anger to vulnerable emotion — can be transformational.

Emotion-focused techniques are powerful tools in therapy and personal growth work that help individuals acknowledge, express, and validate their emotions. These techniques are rooted in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) but are also widely used across many therapeutic approaches. Here are several effective techniques for acknowledging and validating feelings:

1. Emotional Labeling: putting words to feelings (e.g., “I feel sad,” “I’m overwhelmed,” “There’s a tightness in my chest when I think about this.”). Naming an emotion helps bring it into awareness and reduces its intensity.

2. Reflective Listening: repeating back what someone said with a focus on their emotion. This shows the person they are heard and helps them feel understood.

3. Normalizing Emotional Experience: reassuring someone (or yourself) that the emotion is a valid, human response. Reduces shame or guilt around emotions.

4. Holding Space: being present without trying to fix or change the feeling. Creates a safe environment for emotions to surface and be accepted.

5. Parts Work (ex., Internal Family Systems-style): Recognizing that different “parts” of you may have different emotions. Reduces inner conflict and promotes self-compassion.

6. Emotion Journaling: writing freely about what you feel and why. Increases awareness and allows expression without judgment.

7. Compassionate Reframing: viewing an emotional response through a lens of self-compassion rather than criticism. Helps shift the narrative from shame to understanding.

8. Validating Before Problem-Solving: resist jumping into solutions before validating the emotion. Emotional validation often reduces distress enough to allow for clearer thinking.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you are interested in EFT.

What is Imago Relationship Therapy?

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a form of couples therapy developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. IRT focuses on healing childhood wounds and transforming conflict into connection in adult romantic relationships. It's designed to help partners deepen intimacy, resolve conflict, and heal relational wounds by understanding each other’s emotional experiences—especially those rooted in childhood.

Here’s a breakdown of the core concepts and tools used in Imago:

Core Concepts/ Core Principles:

1. The Imago:
   Latin for "image," the Imago is the unconscious image of the people who influenced you most strongly during childhood - usually early caregivers. According to IRT, we’re drawn to partners who resemble this imago and reflect both the positive and negative traits of those early relationships because our unconscious mind is seeking healing through the relationship. This creates the potential for growth and re-wounding.

2. Unconscious Relationship Dynamics
   Many romantic conflicts stem from unresolved childhood wounds. Your partner can unknowingly trigger those wounds, leading to reactive behavior. Imago therapy helps bring awareness to these patterns.

3. Stages of relationships:

   1. The Romantic Phase:
      The "honeymoon" stage—intense connection, idealization, and infatuation.

   2. The Power Struggle:
      When differences emerge and unmet needs surface, triggering old wounds. Conflict is seen not as a problem, but as a signal for healing.

4. Conscious Relationship:
   A relationship where both partners are aware of their emotional triggers, take responsibility for their reactions, and commit to mutual healing and growth.

5. Conflict as Growth Opportunity
   Rather than viewing conflict as a sign of incompatibility, IRT sees it as a chance to heal. It’s in the "power struggle" phase of relationships where real transformation can occur.

Key Tools & Techniques

1. The Imago Dialogue (structured communication process):

   • Mirroring: Repeating back what your partner says to show understanding.

     • Ex. One partner reflects back what they heard ("Let me see if I got that...").

   • Validation: Acknowledging your partner’s perspective as valid, even if you disagree.

     • Ex. Acknowledging their perspective ("That makes sense because...").

   • Empathy: Expressing emotional resonance with your partner’s experience.

     • Ex. Connecting with the feeling behind the message ("I imagine you feel...").

2. Behavior Change Requests:
   Partners ask for specific, doable behaviors that would help them feel more loved, safe, or connected.

3. Childhood Wound Exploration:
   Understanding how early experiences shape current relationship dynamics.

4. Safety & Connection Focus:
   Emphasis on creating emotional safety, curiosity instead of judgment, and turning conflict into connection.

Who Is It For?

Imago is especially helpful for:

• Couples stuck in repetitive conflicts

• Relationships with communication breakdowns

• Those who want to deepen intimacy and empathy

• Partners healing from childhood or relational trauma

• Individuals in any stage of relationship (dating, married, separated)

• Even individuals can benefit (e.g., for self-discovery or preparing for future relationships)

Goals of Imago Therapy

• Shift blame and criticism into curiosity and compassion.

• Learn to communicate needs and feelings safely.

• Understand your own emotional triggers and those of your partner.

• Heal childhood wounds that impact your relationship.

• Develop deeper empathy, connection, and intimacy.

What Happens in Sessions

• Partners learn the Imago Dialogue and practice it regularly.

• The therapist helps identify core childhood wounds and patterns.

• Couples explore how unmet needs from childhood play out in the relationship.

• They set intentions for creating a "conscious relationship" rooted in healing.

Example Exercise

Intentional Dialogue Prompt
"One thing that’s been on my mind lately is..."
Partner mirrors, validates, and empathizes. Then they switch roles.

To learn more about IRT, check out Getting The Love You Want.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you are interested in IRT.