What Is Parts Work?

Parts Work: Healing Through Inner Connection

Have you ever said, “Part of me wants to move on, but part of me just can’t let go”? Or felt like there’s an inner tug-of-war happening inside you?

That’s not just a metaphor. It’s a real psychological experience—one that Parts Work helps us understand, explore, and heal.

What Is Parts Work?

Parts Work is a therapeutic approach based on the idea that we are made up of many different “parts” or subpersonalities. Each part has its own perspective, feelings, needs, and role in our internal world. While these parts are all aspects of you, they can sometimes feel like they’re in conflict.

For example:

• One part wants to set boundaries, while another part fears rejection.

• One part is deeply hurt, while another tries to stay numb or distracted.

• One part wants to forgive, while another holds onto anger for protection.

Parts Work helps us get to know these inner parts, understand where they come from, and create more compassion, clarity, and harmony inside ourselves.

Where Does It Come From?

Parts Work is most well-known through Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapeutic model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. In IFS, each person is seen as having:

• Exiles – Parts that carry wounds, trauma, or vulnerability

• Managers – Parts that try to control or avoid discomfort

• Firefighters – Parts that react impulsively to soothe or distract (e.g., overeating, lashing out)

• Self – A calm, compassionate, wise inner core that can lead the healing process

Why We Have Parts

Our parts develop to help us survive, cope, and make sense of the world—especially in childhood or during traumatic experiences. Even the parts that seem “self-sabotaging” or “too much” are usually trying to protect us in some way.

The goal of Parts Work is not to get rid of parts, but to:

• Understand their purpose

• Unburden them from pain they carry

• Help them trust that you (your Self) are capable of leading with care and compassion

What Parts Work Looks Like in Practice

In therapy, you might:

• Identify a specific part (e.g., “the angry protector” or “the anxious achiever”)

• Get curious: When did this part show up? What is it afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job?

• Listen, without judgment

• Invite connection from your inner Self to that part

• Help that part feel seen, supported, and safe to soften its grip

Often, just being with a part with kindness starts the healing process.

A Simple Example

Let’s say you procrastinate on something important. With Parts Work, you might discover:

• A Fearful part that believes if you fail, you’ll be ashamed

• A Critical part that pushes you to get things done

• A Tired part that just wants to rest but doesn’t feel allowed to

Each of these parts is valid. When you approach them with curiosity instead of criticism, they often shift—and you feel more internally at peace and empowered.

Why It Helps

Parts Work helps people:

• Understand inner conflict with compassion

• Heal wounds from childhood or trauma

• Reduce anxiety, shame, and self-sabotage

• Improve self-trust and emotional regulation

• Feel more whole and self-led

When your inner world feels less like a battlefield and more like a team working together, life becomes easier to navigate.

Getting Started

You don’t have to be in therapy to begin working with your parts, but it helps to be led by a trained professional. You can start by noticing:

• What emotions or voices show up in stressful moments?

• Are any parts trying to protect or push you?

• Can you pause and ask: “What does this part need right now?”

Gentleness is key. You don’t have to fix your parts—just listen, get curious, and lead with compassion.

Final Thought

You are not broken. You are multi-faceted—and every part of you has a reason for being here.

Parts Work invites you to become the loving leader your inner system has always needed. And from that place of self-connection, healing becomes not just possible—but inevitable.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you are interested in starting Parts Work.

What is Emotion-Focused Therapy?

Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) is a humanistic, evidence-based approach to therapy that helps people become more aware of, express, regulate, understand, and transform their emotions — because emotions are seen as the core driver of experience, identity, and change.

It was originally developed by Dr. Leslie Greenberg (for individuals) and Dr. Sue Johnson (for couples — you might've heard of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy). It’s grounded in attachment theory, Gestalt therapy, and person-centered (Rogerian) principles.

🧠 Core Beliefs of EFT:

1. Emotions guide us — they tell us what we need and motivate action.

2. Emotional difficulties often come from blocked, unprocessed, or overwhelming feelings.

3. Healing comes not just from insight or behavior change, but from transforming maladaptive emotions by accessing deeper adaptive ones (like going from shame → self-compassion, or fear → assertiveness).

💬 In Practice, EFT Helps Clients:

• Identify and label emotions clearly (instead of saying “I’m just stressed,” we get to “I feel hurt and scared”).

• Understand where emotions come from (current situations and early attachment/relational patterns).

• Access deeper, more vulnerable emotions underneath surface reactivity.

• Express emotions safely, especially in relationships.

• Change emotional responses by working through them, not around them.

❤️‍🔥 In Couples Therapy (EFT for Couples):

EFT helps partners move out of reactive cycles (like blame/withdraw or pursue/distance) by:

1. Slowing things down

2. Helping each partner share what’s really going on emotionally (usually fear, hurt, or longing)

3. Creating new bonding experiences that restore trust and connection

✨ Example:

Instead of staying in:

“You never listen to me. You’re always on your phone!”

EFT would help the client say:

“When you pull away, I feel rejected and unimportant. And that hurts me, because I want to feel close to you.”

That shift — from anger to vulnerable emotion — can be transformational.

Emotion-focused techniques are powerful tools in therapy and personal growth work that help individuals acknowledge, express, and validate their emotions. These techniques are rooted in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) but are also widely used across many therapeutic approaches. Here are several effective techniques for acknowledging and validating feelings:

1. Emotional Labeling: putting words to feelings (e.g., “I feel sad,” “I’m overwhelmed,” “There’s a tightness in my chest when I think about this.”). Naming an emotion helps bring it into awareness and reduces its intensity.

2. Reflective Listening: repeating back what someone said with a focus on their emotion. This shows the person they are heard and helps them feel understood.

3. Normalizing Emotional Experience: reassuring someone (or yourself) that the emotion is a valid, human response. Reduces shame or guilt around emotions.

4. Holding Space: being present without trying to fix or change the feeling. Creates a safe environment for emotions to surface and be accepted.

5. Parts Work (ex., Internal Family Systems-style): Recognizing that different “parts” of you may have different emotions. Reduces inner conflict and promotes self-compassion.

6. Emotion Journaling: writing freely about what you feel and why. Increases awareness and allows expression without judgment.

7. Compassionate Reframing: viewing an emotional response through a lens of self-compassion rather than criticism. Helps shift the narrative from shame to understanding.

8. Validating Before Problem-Solving: resist jumping into solutions before validating the emotion. Emotional validation often reduces distress enough to allow for clearer thinking.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you are interested in EFT.

Exploring and Processing Emotions Surrounding Family Dynamics Through Narrative Therapy

Narrative Therapy helps clients reframe their experiences by externalizing problems, reconstructing personal narratives, and finding empowerment in their own stories. Processing and making sense of family dynamics, particularly in difficult relationships is paramount in personal growth.

Steps for Exploration and Processing in Narrative Therapy

1. Externalizing the Problem

• Separates the client from the issue by personifying it.

  • Example: “If your relationship were a story, what title would it have?”

  • This will help to encourage the client to see guilt, obligation, or resentment as external forces rather than intrinsic traits.

2. Creating a Coherent Life Narrative

• Guides the client in telling their story in a structured way to recognize patterns.

  • Asks questions like:

    • “How has your [father]’s role in your life evolved over time?”

    • “What moments stand out as particularly defining in your relationship?”

  • Encourages the client to write or verbally express a timeline of key family events and emotional responses.

3. Identifying Dominant vs. Alternative Narratives

• Helps the client recognize negative narratives that reinforce distress (e.g., “I owe my [father] everything” or “I’ll never be free from expectations”).

• Introduces alternative narratives that highlight resilience and autonomy.

  • Example: “Even though my [father] has been controlling, I have still made independent choices.”

4. Rewriting the Narrative with Empowerment

• Encourages the client to retell thier story with self-compassion and agency rather than guilt or blame.

  • Example activity:

    • Writing a letter to your younger self, reframing painful experiences with understanding and validation.

• Focuses on strengths and lessons learned rather than just the pain.

  • Example: Despite everything, what strengths have you developed from these experiences?

5. Developing a New Perspective on Family Roles

• Helps the client explore:

  • Who do I want to be in my family system moving forward?

  • How can I redefine my role without guilt or resentment?

• Encourage boundary-setting narratives, such as:

  • I can appreciate my father’s support while maintaining my independence.

Helpful activities:

• Write a "story of my family relationship" from an observer’s perspective.

• Identify three moments where she exercised independence from family expectations.

• Journal on the prompt: “If I could rewrite my relationship with my [father], what would it look like?”

Goal of This Approach:
By using Narrative Therapy, the client can detach from painful family patterns, process emotions without feeling trapped, and create a self-empowering narrative that supports healing.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you’d like to work through some of your family dynamics.

What is Imago Relationship Therapy?

Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) is a form of couples therapy developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. IRT focuses on healing childhood wounds and transforming conflict into connection in adult romantic relationships. It's designed to help partners deepen intimacy, resolve conflict, and heal relational wounds by understanding each other’s emotional experiences—especially those rooted in childhood.

Here’s a breakdown of the core concepts and tools used in Imago:

Core Concepts/ Core Principles:

1. The Imago:
   Latin for "image," the Imago is the unconscious image of the people who influenced you most strongly during childhood - usually early caregivers. According to IRT, we’re drawn to partners who resemble this imago and reflect both the positive and negative traits of those early relationships because our unconscious mind is seeking healing through the relationship. This creates the potential for growth and re-wounding.

2. Unconscious Relationship Dynamics
   Many romantic conflicts stem from unresolved childhood wounds. Your partner can unknowingly trigger those wounds, leading to reactive behavior. Imago therapy helps bring awareness to these patterns.

3. Stages of relationships:

   1. The Romantic Phase:
      The "honeymoon" stage—intense connection, idealization, and infatuation.

   2. The Power Struggle:
      When differences emerge and unmet needs surface, triggering old wounds. Conflict is seen not as a problem, but as a signal for healing.

4. Conscious Relationship:
   A relationship where both partners are aware of their emotional triggers, take responsibility for their reactions, and commit to mutual healing and growth.

5. Conflict as Growth Opportunity
   Rather than viewing conflict as a sign of incompatibility, IRT sees it as a chance to heal. It’s in the "power struggle" phase of relationships where real transformation can occur.

Key Tools & Techniques

1. The Imago Dialogue (structured communication process):

   • Mirroring: Repeating back what your partner says to show understanding.

     • Ex. One partner reflects back what they heard ("Let me see if I got that...").

   • Validation: Acknowledging your partner’s perspective as valid, even if you disagree.

     • Ex. Acknowledging their perspective ("That makes sense because...").

   • Empathy: Expressing emotional resonance with your partner’s experience.

     • Ex. Connecting with the feeling behind the message ("I imagine you feel...").

2. Behavior Change Requests:
   Partners ask for specific, doable behaviors that would help them feel more loved, safe, or connected.

3. Childhood Wound Exploration:
   Understanding how early experiences shape current relationship dynamics.

4. Safety & Connection Focus:
   Emphasis on creating emotional safety, curiosity instead of judgment, and turning conflict into connection.

Who Is It For?

Imago is especially helpful for:

• Couples stuck in repetitive conflicts

• Relationships with communication breakdowns

• Those who want to deepen intimacy and empathy

• Partners healing from childhood or relational trauma

• Individuals in any stage of relationship (dating, married, separated)

• Even individuals can benefit (e.g., for self-discovery or preparing for future relationships)

Goals of Imago Therapy

• Shift blame and criticism into curiosity and compassion.

• Learn to communicate needs and feelings safely.

• Understand your own emotional triggers and those of your partner.

• Heal childhood wounds that impact your relationship.

• Develop deeper empathy, connection, and intimacy.

What Happens in Sessions

• Partners learn the Imago Dialogue and practice it regularly.

• The therapist helps identify core childhood wounds and patterns.

• Couples explore how unmet needs from childhood play out in the relationship.

• They set intentions for creating a "conscious relationship" rooted in healing.

Example Exercise

Intentional Dialogue Prompt
"One thing that’s been on my mind lately is..."
Partner mirrors, validates, and empathizes. Then they switch roles.

To learn more about IRT, check out Getting The Love You Want.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you are interested in IRT.

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely used psychological approach that helps individuals understand and change unhelpful thought patterns, emotions, and behaviors. The core idea behind CBT is that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are interconnected and influence each other. By modifying negative thoughts and behaviors, individuals can improve their emotional well-being.

CBT Framework: The Cognitive Triangle:

The relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can be visualized as a triangle:

1. Thoughts – What we think about a situation (our interpretations and beliefs).

2. Emotions – How we feel in response to our thoughts.

3. Behaviors – How we react or respond to those thoughts and emotions.

These elements interact dynamically, often creating self-reinforcing patterns. Click here to download a handout on the Cognitive Triangle,

Example of the CBT Triangle in Action:

Imagine a situation where someone waves at you, but you think they ignored you.

• Thought: "They don’t like me."

• Emotion: You feel sad or rejected.

• Behavior: You avoid interacting with them in the future.

However, if you challenge this thought, the outcome can change:

• Alternative Thought: "Maybe they didn’t see me."

• New Emotion: You feel neutral or understanding.

• New Behavior: You might wave again or talk to them later.

CBT in Practice:

CBT helps people become aware of and challenge cognitive distortions (irrational or exaggerated thought patterns), such as:

• All-or-nothing thinking ("If I fail once, I’m a complete failure.")

• Overgeneralization ("This always happens to me.")

• Mind-reading ("They must think I’m stupid.")

• Catastrophizing ("This is the worst thing ever.")

CBT techniques include:

• Cognitive restructuring (identifying and changing negative thoughts).

• Behavioral activation (engaging in activities that boost mood).

• Exposure therapy (gradually facing feared situations).

• Relaxation techniques (deep breathing, mindfulness).

Goal of CBT:

By recognizing and modifying negative thought patterns, individuals can create healthier emotional responses and more adaptive behaviors, ultimately improving their mental well-being.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like a more in-depth look at specific CBT and how it could be beneficial for you.