Why Do People Get Jealous?

People get jealous because jealousy is a natural emotional response to a perceived threat to something we value — usually a relationship, status, or sense of self-worth. It’s often driven by a mix of fear, insecurity, and comparison.

Here’s a breakdown of why people feel jealous:

Fear of Loss

• Fear that someone else will take away something or someone important to you (e.g., a partner, friend, attention, opportunity).

• Example: Feeling jealous when your best friend gets close to someone else.

Low Self-Esteem or Insecurity

• Doubting your own worth or believing you’re not “enough” can make you more vulnerable to jealousy.

• You might think others are better, more attractive, smarter, or more lovable.

Comparison

• Social comparison (especially on social media) can trigger jealousy when we believe others have something we lack — beauty, money, success, relationships, etc.

Possessiveness or Control

• Some people equate love or loyalty with exclusivity and control.

• Jealousy may arise from the belief that others shouldn’t have access to what’s “mine.”

Attachment Style & Past Experiences

• People with anxious attachment or a history of betrayal, abandonment, or emotional neglect are more likely to feel jealous.

• Trauma, infidelity, or rejection can sensitize someone to threats.

Unmet Needs or Boundaries

• Jealousy can be a signal that a need isn’t being met in a relationship (like attention, affection, or reassurance).

• It might also point to a lack of clear boundaries or misalignment in expectations.

Cultural and Social Influences

• In some cultures or families, jealousy is normalized or even seen as a sign of love.

• Others may feel pressured to compete or “have what others have.”

In Summary:

Jealousy is a signal emotion.
It alerts you to a real or perceived threat — and often points to something deeper: fear, need, insecurity, or desire.

The key is not to shame the feeling, but to explore where it’s coming from and what it’s trying to tell you.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like tools for managing jealousy in a relationship or if you would like to process it.

The Need To “Fix”

Wanting to “fix” someone else often comes from deep emotional, psychological, and relational patterns—not always conscious or intentional. People who feel compelled to fix others usually have good intentions, but their behavior is often driven by unmet needs, past wounds, or a desire for control or safety. Here’s why someone might feel that urge:

Sense of Worth Tied to Being Needed

• Some people feel valuable when they’re helping, rescuing, or improving others.

• Fixing becomes a way to earn love or feel important, especially if they struggle with low self-esteem.

Trauma or Codependency

• Often rooted in chaotic, neglectful, or traumatic upbringings.

• The person may have learned to focus on others' problems to avoid their own feelings or to survive emotionally volatile environments.

• In codependency, one’s identity becomes entangled with helping or saving others—at the expense of self.

Control as a Coping Mechanism

• Trying to fix others can create a sense of control in uncertain or painful situations.

• Especially in relationships where someone feels helpless, trying to fix the other person is a way to manage anxiety.

Empathy + Over-Responsibility

• Highly empathic people often feel overwhelmed by others’ suffering and may feel compelled to relieve it.

• But if healthy boundaries aren’t in place, empathy turns into over-functioning—doing for others what they must do for themselves.

Repeating Old Family Roles

• If someone was the “caretaker” or “mediator” in their family growing up, that role can unconsciously continue into adulthood.

• Fixing others becomes a familiar and automatic role, even when it's harmful.

Projection

• Sometimes people try to fix others as a way to avoid facing their own wounds.

• They may project their pain or need for healing onto someone else and try to solve it externally.

Hope for Healing Through Others

• If someone loves a person who’s struggling (addiction, mental illness, emotional unavailability), they may believe that if they can fix the other person, they’ll finally get the love or safety they’ve longed for.

Fear of Losing the Relationship

• Fixing can be an attempt to make the relationship “work” by changing the other person rather than addressing what the fixer really needs or wants.

• It’s often motivated by fear: “If I don’t fix them, I’ll lose them.”

The Problem?

Fixing often leads to resentment, burnout, and disempowerment—both for the fixer and the one being “fixed.” It prevents genuine connection, personal growth, and mutual respect.

Contact Bee Blissful today if you would like strategies for shifting from fixing to supporting.