Dual Awareness: Learning to Hold Two Truths at Once
In therapy, one of the most powerful skills clients learn is something called dual awareness — the ability to hold two seemingly opposite truths at the same time without letting one cancel out the other.
It’s the gentle reminder that “two things can be true.”
In therapy, one of the most powerful skills clients learn is something called dual awareness — the ability to hold two seemingly opposite truths at the same time without letting one cancel out the other.
It’s the gentle reminder that “two things can be true.”
You can love someone and feel angry with them.
You can feel grateful for your life and still long for change.
You can feel compassion for someone’s pain and still need distance to protect yourself.
This skill can feel counterintuitive at first, especially for people who grew up in chaotic, invalidating, or emotionally intense environments where only one feeling was “allowed” at a time. But learning to hold both truths is one of the cornerstones of emotional regulation, self-trust, and inner peace.
What Is Dual Awareness?
Dual awareness means being able to notice two emotional realities or perspectives at once — for example, “I understand why this person acted that way” and “it still hurt me.”
It’s the opposite of black-and-white thinking, where your mind tries to make one truth erase the other. Instead, dual awareness invites integration: you don’t have to pick a side between empathy and honesty, compassion and boundaries, or love and disappointment.
When we learn to hold both truths, we become less reactive, more grounded, and more authentic.
Where It Comes From
Dual awareness stems from several trauma-informed and mindfulness-based therapeutic approaches:
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches that two opposing truths can exist simultaneously — for example, “I’m doing the best I can, and I want to do better.” The “dialectic” part of DBT literally means balancing opposites.
Trauma-Focused and Somatic Therapies (such as EMDR and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy) use dual awareness to help clients stay connected to the present moment while remembering or processing painful experiences from the past. Clients learn, “I’m safe now, even as I remember something that wasn’t safe then.”
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasize noticing and accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment — holding discomfort and compassion together instead of choosing one over the other.
Each of these approaches helps clients move from emotional rigidity (“I have to pick one truth”) to emotional flexibility (“I can hold both”).
Why It Matters
Without dual awareness, our emotions can feel like a tug-of-war.
If you feel empathy but ignore your boundaries, you burn out.
If you protect yourself but suppress empathy, you feel hardened and disconnected.
Dual awareness helps you hold compassion and self-respect, love and truth, grief and gratitude. It makes room for the full spectrum of your humanity.
Practicing Dual Awareness in Daily Life
Here are a few ways to strengthen this skill:
Name both truths out loud.
“I’m excited for this new opportunity, and I’m scared I might fail.”Use mindful grounding.
Place one hand on your heart and one on your stomach. With each breath, remind yourself: “Both of these feelings belong here.”Journal the two sides.
Write: “Part of me feels ___, and another part of me feels ___.” Then, close with: “Both are valid.”Release the need to fix.
You don’t have to choose which emotion wins. Let them both exist until they naturally settle.
The Takeaway
Dual awareness is about expanding your emotional window — making space for the contradictions that come with being human. When you stop fighting for just one truth to be “right,” you make room for wisdom, peace, and emotional maturity.
You can be healing and still have hard days.
You can care for others and still choose yourself.
You can hold two truths at once — and both can lead you toward balance.
Contact Bee Blissful today if you’re interested in learning how to apply this concept in your life.
The Spoon Theory
If you’ve ever said, “I just don’t have the energy today,” you’re already speaking the language of the Spoon Theory — even if you didn’t know it.
The Spoon Theory is more than a metaphor; it’s a tool that helps people understand energy management, self-compassion, and boundaries — especially when living with chronic illness, trauma, anxiety, or burnout.
It gives language to something invisible: the daily mental, physical, and emotional cost of simply being human.
Understanding Energy, Boundaries, and Emotional Capacity
If you’ve ever said, “I just don’t have the energy today,” you’re already speaking the language of the Spoon Theory — even if you didn’t know it.
The Spoon Theory is more than a metaphor; it’s a tool that helps people understand energy management, self-compassion, and boundaries — especially when living with chronic illness, trauma, anxiety, or burnout.
It gives language to something invisible: the daily mental, physical, and emotional cost of simply being human.
What Is the Spoon Theory?
The Spoon Theory was created in 2003 by writer and lupus advocate Christine Miserandino to explain what it’s like living with a chronic illness.
In her essay, she used spoons to represent units of energy.
Healthy people tend to start the day with an unlimited supply of spoons.
But for someone living with chronic illness or emotional fatigue, spoons are finite — every task, even small ones, costs one.
For example:
Getting out of bed → 🥄
Taking a shower → 🥄
Driving to work → 🥄🥄
Responding to messages or family demands → 🥄🥄🥄
When you run out of spoons, you’re done — there’s no more energy left to give without consequences.
This metaphor has since expanded far beyond chronic illness communities. Therapists, trauma survivors, caregivers, and individuals with depression, ADHD, or anxiety now use it to describe the invisible labor of managing daily life.
How the Spoon Technique Helps in Therapy
From a counseling perspective, the spoon technique offers a mindful and self-compassionate framework for pacing and self-regulation.
Here’s how it supports mental health recovery:
1. It Creates Language for Invisible Struggles
Clients often feel guilty for not being able to “keep up.” The spoon theory helps externalize that guilt:
“It’s not that I’m lazy; it’s that I ran out of spoons.”
This language reduces shame and encourages empathy from others.
2. It Reinforces the Importance of Energy Boundaries
By identifying what tasks or interactions deplete energy, clients can begin setting healthy boundaries.
For example:
“I only have two spoons left after work — I can’t commit to going out tonight.”
This boundary isn’t avoidance; it’s self-preservation.
3. It Encourages Pacing and Planning
Therapists often teach “spoon budgeting.”
Just like managing money, clients can plan their day or week by estimating how many spoons each task requires — and ensuring some are saved for rest or joy.
4. It Validates Neurodiversity and Chronic Stress
People with ADHD, PTSD, or anxiety often expend more spoons on tasks others find effortless (like transitions, focus, or socializing).
The metaphor normalizes the reality that your baseline is unique — not a reflection of weakness.
Applying the Spoon Technique in Daily Life
Here’s how you or your clients can use the technique practically:
🥄 Step 1: Identify Your Daily Spoon Count
Each day might look different depending on sleep, stress, or symptoms.
You might have 10 spoons one day and 4 the next — that’s okay. Awareness is key.
🥄 Step 2: Track Where Your Spoons Go
Write down your daily activities and note how many spoons each one costs. Over time, you’ll notice patterns — certain people, environments, or habits consistently drain you.
🥄 Step 3: Budget Wisely
If you know you have a demanding day ahead, plan spoon-saving strategies:
Prep meals the night before
Limit social media or multitasking
Build short breaks between tasks
🥄 Step 4: Refill Your Spoons
You can’t “hustle” your way out of depletion. Replenishment looks like:
Resting without guilt
Engaging in creativity or gentle movement
Time in nature
Supportive social connection
Therapy or mindfulness practices
Rest is not a luxury — it’s energy maintenance.
What Therapists Often See
Many clients in recovery — especially those healing from trauma, people-pleasing, or chronic stress — tend to ignore early depletion signs until they hit emotional burnout.
The spoon theory helps clients visualize their capacity in real time, shifting the focus from “What’s wrong with me?” to “How much energy do I have, and how do I protect it?”
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t need to earn rest.
Your worth isn’t measured by productivity or how many spoons you spend in a day.
The goal isn’t to have endless spoons — it’s to use them intentionally on things that align with your values, relationships, and healing.
So if you’re running low today, remember:
It’s okay to set the spoon down. Rest is part of the work.
Here are some helpful materials:
Contact Bee Blissful today if you realize you find value in the Spoon Theory and you want to learn more techniques like this.
Emotional Regulation Exercises
Here are emotion regulation exercises that you can use to better understand, tolerate, and respond to intense emotions without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. These draw from evidence-based practices like DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), CBT, mindfulness, and somatic therapy.
Here are emotion regulation exercises that you can use to better understand, tolerate, and respond to intense emotions without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. These draw from evidence-based practices like DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), CBT, mindfulness, and somatic therapy.
Name It to Tame It
Purpose: Build emotional awareness and reduce reactivity.
How:
Pause and ask: What am I feeling right now?
Try to label it with specificity: “I feel ___” (e.g., frustrated vs. angry).
Use a feelings wheel to expand emotional vocabulary.
Why it works: Naming an emotion engages the thinking brain and quiets the reactive part (amygdala).
The STOP Skill (DBT)
Purpose: Prevent impulsive, emotion-driven reactions.
Acronym:
S – Stop: Freeze. Don’t act on the urge.
T – Take a breath: Ground your body with slow breathing.
O – Observe: Notice thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
P – Proceed mindfully: Choose your next step based on your goals and values.
Opposite Action
Purpose: Reduce unwanted emotions by doing the opposite of what they urge you to do.
Example:
If feeling ashamed → look someone in the eye.
If feeling sad and wanting to isolate → reach out to a friend.
If feeling anxious and avoiding → take one small approach step.
Self-Soothing with the 5 Senses
Purpose: Calm the nervous system and return to the present moment.
Try one activity for each sense:
Sight: Look at calming images, light a candle, nature scenes.
Sound: Play soothing music, nature sounds, white noise.
Smell: Essential oils, scented lotion, incense.
Taste: Sip tea, eat something warm or grounding.
Touch: Weighted blanket, soft fabric, self-hug, warm shower.
Emotions as Messengers Exercise
Purpose: Shift your relationship to difficult emotions.
Ask:
What is this emotion trying to tell me?
What need might be underneath it?
What would I say to this emotion if it were a person?
Example: “My anger is telling me I feel disrespected. I need to set a boundary.”
Grounding with 5-4-3-2-1
Purpose: Anchor yourself in the present during emotional flooding.
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
Daily Emotion Check-In (Journal)
Purpose: Increase self-awareness and track emotional patterns.
Each day, write:
What emotion did I feel most today?
What triggered it?
How did I respond?
What would I try differently next time?
Contact Bee Blissful today for more information on how a therapist can help you with emotional regulation.